February 22, 2010

Are we allowed to swear on here? Ah fuck it. Anyway, I have noticed one person in particular is becoming a bit (if not more) of a biatch. My housemate needs to be hit in the face with a shovel to be blunt. But then again that would be too kind. So would throwing her into a pit full of rabid dogs. As I was saying, my midget (hobbits would say “Shit I thought I was short!”) housemate is really annoying the crap out of me. She complains and complains about the house not being clean, yet when I clean, I clean a damn sight better than her and she never says anything about it. When she cleans, it looks practically the same. Hair all round the edges, crumbs still on the table… I could go on. She really is a menacing little hippo. Due to this behaviour, I have resorted to cleaning just my own room and the bathroom- the living room and kitchen I very rarely use. She then has the cheek to say I’m a lazy so and so. I cannot win. However, her mental fits of OCD and shouting are quite funny- so is her abnormaly high blood pressure.


Weird thing

February 19, 2010

My girlfriend, whom I absolutely love and adore, has a painful addiction of biting me and really hard. She says with puppy dog eyes “But you are so juicy and tender, I can’t help it!” I offer a steak instead but it is hopeless- she prefers human flesh to a 8oz rump steak with garlic butter (and rocket leaves obviously). I seriously do not know what to think- do I really taste that good? Somehow I’m getting the impression she likes to inflict pain. It’s unbelievably painful, my eyes feel as if they are going to pop. There was a little cut on my arm a few weeks ago, not because of another bitey bite but through some other misdemeanour, and as I prodded it, I swear my skin felt slightly more loose. Shocker. I’ll tell you one thing though, my pain tolerance is much higher, which is nice. Thank you darling!

Hello world!

February 17, 2010

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